November 23, 2025|ג' כסלו ה' אלפים תשפ"ו Toldos 5786 - A Life of Struggle By Rabbi Beni Krohn

After Esav realizes that he has been bested by his little brother, that Yaakov has stolen his bracha, he turns to his father, desperately requesting his own:

And in response, Yitzchak does, indeed, offer Esav a bracha:

And this response by Yitzchak to Esav is confusing. Is it a bracha? That's what Esav asked for! And, to a certain extent, there are some positive elements here. At the same time, it isn't clear what עַל חַרְבְּךָ תִּחְיֶה, you will live by the sword, means. Is that positive? Negative?

I want to share with you three approaches to this bracha:

The Seforno and others note that saying Esav will live by the sword is not negative. Rather, it fits with the rest of the bracha. Just as Esav will live off the fat of the land, he will also be able to live through his skill as a hunter. And he won't have to worry about rain. Rather, between the dew and his hunting abilities Esav will have his needs taken care of.

Rav Soloveitchik notes that the language in the brachos given to Yaakov and Esav are remarkably similar, with an important difference:

By Yaakov, Yitzchak says:

By Esav, he says:

The difference is the phrase, וְיִתֶּן לְךָ אֱלֹקִים which is present only in Yaakov's bracha. Yaakov will receive special hashgacha, Divine Providence, that Esav will not receive. Rather, when it comes to Esav, עַל חַרְבְּךָ תִּחְיֶה. You will live by the sword. Esav has insisted all along on his ability to achieve all he needs through his own personal efforts, dependent on no one else. And so, says Yitzchak, Hashem will allow you to do things your way, but you will do so without His help.

But I also want to share with you a third approach, the approach of Rav Moshe Sofer, known as the Chassam Sofer, in his Sefer Toras Moshe:

He writes that not only is Yitzchak giving Esav a bracha when offering him the fat of the land and the dew of heaven, but even the follow up point, עַל חַרְבְּךָ תִּחְיֶה, you will live by the sword, is part and parcel of that same bracha. And that is, says the Chassam Sofer, because we know all-too-well that any person who has everything they could ever need, a person who lacks nothing, is never happy. Rather, it is actually the fact that we have to work hard, that we struggle, that sometimes things go well and sometimes they are a challenge, that brings meaning to our lives.

And, therefore, after telling Esav that he will be able to live off the fat of the land, that finances will come to him rather easily, Yitzchak follows it up by blessing him that עַל חַרְבְּךָ תִּחְיֶה, you will live by the sword, not literally that Esav will have to use his physical sword all the time. Esav, says his father, my bracha to you is that you learn that success in this world won't be found by simply sitting back and waiting for everything to come easy. Rather, meaning and satisfaction will only come through the struggles you face in life and your willingness to face them and to fight through them!

In the words of the Chassam Sofer:

This explanation of the Chassam Sofer resonated with me so much because it shows Yitzchak taking the opportunity in this difficult moment in his son's life, as he sits crying at his father's feet, not to simply pacify him with a bracha too, but to explain to Esav how he can improve.

At the very beginning of the parsha, we read the story of how Yaakov purchases the right to the firstborn from Esav for a bowl of soup. In that moment, the Torah describes how Esav isn't interested in the bechora:

And as that scene concludes, the Torah tells us:

The Midrash notes that what Esav was really saying to Yaakov was הִנֵּה אָנֹכִי הוֹלֵךְ לָמוּת — If I have to follow the halachos of being a bechor and working in the Beis Hamikdash I'll never be able to keep it all, and I'll die because I'll violate the halachos and make a mistake in the Beis Hamikdash.

Asks Rav Moshe Feinstein — If this was the real conversation, then we see that Esav actually had an appreciation for what it means to keep halacha. He understood the seriousness of the responsibility and was simply too worried about his ability to follow through. If that's true, why does the Torah use such strong language: וַיִּבֶז עֵשָׂו אֶת־הַבְּכֹרָה that Esav scorned the birthright!?

And Rav Moshe answers very powerfully because taking responsibility, working hard, falling down and getting up again, that is what it means to have a meaningful, successful life! And to say, 'that's not for me!' is to have a lack of understanding about what life is all about!

But this was Esav's entire persona. His life was epitomized by how do I find my way to the easiest, most pleasurable life. And so, in his moment of vulnerability, Esav's father turns to him and he says, "my son, the greatest bracha I can give you is not that things will always be easy. But rather, the greatest bracha I can give is to realize that every person has the ability to create a life of bracha on their own: Through the willingness to work hard, to struggle, to face our challenges, and to grow.

We read the story of Yaakov and Esav, and so often we complain: Esav gets a bad rap! Chazal make him so extreme! And I wonder if the reason Chazal do so is because this story is not about two individuals by the names of Yaakov and Esav. This story is about the struggle every human being faces each and every day: How will I find meaning? From another Amazon package? Scrolling for another 10 minutes on social media? Another expensive bottle of liquor? Or will it come instead through a commitment to that which is oftentimes a little harder, but so much more valuable: Another book or game played with my children. Calling or texting a friend who could use a little chizuk. Another tefillah. Another few minutes of learning.

These days, all I get in my inbox are emails telling me that all the stuff that will make me happy is 50% off! And it's hard to fight that messaging all around us that the pathway to happiness is things! Hashem refers to Am Yisrael as בְּנִי בְכֹרִי יִשְׂרָאֵל "My child, My firstborn, Yisrael". He asks us to take on the responsibility of being His bechor. And yes, it is a very serious responsibility, but it is also an extraordinary privilege!

And so, just as Yitzchak reminds Esav, עַל חַרְבְּךָ תִּחְיֶה, that true meaning in your life won't come for free, or even 50% off. We are reminded as well that the real value, the greatest deal we can get these days, is a commitment to that special opportunity to be Hashem's Bechor, being willing to fight each and every day for the things in life that are truly priceless.